Jumping on the Bed
by British Racing Green
Summary: Sealand hears England and Seychelles jumping on the bed.


_**I don't own Hetalia or any other brand, fictional or real.**_

**Jumping on the Bed**

_England's siblings had been staying in London for a few days. They will return to their homes later today._

Breakfast time in England's London home was _remarkably_ quiet this Saturday morning. Remarkable in the sense that the whole family was sitting around the dining room table and nobody was shouting at each other.

Scotland was on his iPad reading previews of the day's football (soccer), Wales was reading a rugby blog on his phone, Northern Ireland was checking the Radio Times and Ireland was busy cutting up her sausages.

England on the other hand was annoying Seychelles, his partner. Almost every time she brought her fork up to her mouth he jogged her. As a result she had baked bean sauce, tomato juice, fried egg yolk and fried bread crumbs all around her mouth.

But England wasn't doing this out of spite. He wanted to get Sealand, sitting opposite him and playing with his food, to laugh.

Sealand had recently attended the funeral of his founder, Prince Paddy Roy Bates, and though he was putting on a brave face, had consoled himself with one of the Prince's interview quotes, _and_ the fact that he was at rest, Sealand still looked rather crestfallen.

Unaware of England's intentions, Seychelles was getting more and more wound up. She aggressively cut up some fried egg and impaled it and the last of her fried bread on her fork and even bent down in order to evade another jog. This was to no avail. England got his umpteenth success and as the food went across Seychelles' face and not in her mouth, she snapped.

"Oh I fucking give up!" Seychelles screamed as she threw her fork down with a clatter and chucked her plate down the long table before staring straight into England's soul.

"Just what is your fucking problem this morning?!" she continued yelling, mouth still covering in breakfast.

"Calm down sweetheart. I was only trying to make Sealand laugh." England was quickly getting the impression his plan wasn't as brilliant as when he first thought of it.

Seychelles groaned as she wiped her face. "Well I didn't hear him laugh once! Did anyone else?"

The other nations shook their heads, all eager to see where this could lead.

"I didn't know you wanted me to laugh." Sealand piped up. "I just thought England was being a jerk because he won the jumping on the bed contest last night."

Everyone else was about to smile until it suddenly dawned on them what Sealand had innocently said.

"What dae ye mean laddie?" Scotland asked raising an eyebrow.

"Well I-"

"Nobody needs to hear this!" England loudly cut Sealand off.

"Oh I think we do now." Ireland evilly grinned at England before lovingly smiling at Sealand. "Go on Sealand. What jumping on the bed contest was this?"

England and Seychelles broke out in cold sweats.

"I heard lots of panting, groaning and the sound of bed springs going up and down from England's bedroom last night 'cus I couldn't get to sleep. When the noise stopped I heard an angry Seychelles say "_why can't you ever let me finish first?!_"

The room was silent for about 10 seconds. Seychelles' left eye began to twitch and England couldn't remember the last time he inhaled.

"Who wants to go and play _FIFA_ on the _Xbox_?" Wales asked.

"Yes."

"Good idea."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Bagsy first pick!"

Sealand raced off in order to guarantee himself a certain Spanish club. His brothers and sister stopped when Wales closed the dining room door, looked at each other and burst out in silent laughter. They felt sorry for Seychelles, but she was fair game to them if she was doing _that_ with England.

Back in the dining room England and Seychelles were still in their seats, deadpan expressions on their faces.

"Want to mess with Sealand tonight?" England asked.

"Oh God oui." Seychelles instantly replied.

_That night_

Sealand lay wide awake in bed. Listening.

The morning had all been an act. He wasn't the naïve, innocent little mirconation they all thought he was. He knew _exactly_ what England and Seychelles were doing. If he heard them tonight he was going to open the door on them and pretend they were keeping him up again. _That_ could lead to all kinds of nation-recognition blackmail.

Bedsprings started squeaking. Sealand heard panting too.

"Show time." He said to himself.

Sealand silently tiptoed upstairs and along the corridor from the guest room to England and Seychelles' bedroom. He could hear the two giggling now. His skin was getting warmer and his chest was tightening. His hand shook as he grabbed the door handle, and quick as a flash he threw the door open to reveal...

...England and Seychelles in their pyjamas, literally jumping on the bed and having a pillow fight.

"Oh! Hi Sealand!" Seychelles shouted as she and England landed on the bed in a heap.

"B-b-b-b-but" Sealand gabbled.

"'But' what?" England asked.

Sealand wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. Had he really got it _that_ wrong?

"I don't know what you _thought_ you heard last night, but this is what we do to tire ourselves out." Seychelles smiled.

"We try and hit each other 50 times with our pillows. I'm much better at it and finish first more often than not." England continued.

Sealand was going bright red with embarrassment and was on the brink of tears.

England sighed.

"You know Sealand. _I_ know what you thought we were doing last night, and, we nations know it isn't nice to do what you did this morning. All the time you act and say things like that, you can forget about becoming a nation yourself. Now go to _sleep_."

Sealand lost control of his tear ducts and ran back to his room crying.

When the coast was clear England got up from the bed and went to lock the bedroom door. He turned to Seychelles with a devilish grin that said: "He won't be bothering us ever again."

_**Appendix**_

The Radio Times_ is a popular TV and radio listings magazine in the UK. It was first published in 1923._

_Prince Paddy Roy Bates died in October 2012 aged 91. He once told an interviewer: "_I might die young or I might die old, but I will never die of boredom._"_

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